Soooo it's 2017. I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for this year. And it just happened in like two seconds and now I'm like... what. L O L.
Basically, this is the year I move on to the real adult world. I graduate in May and God willing, I will be moving out and moving up into the wonderful world of work...brmp. But, you know, I am honestly ready. And I think I've been ready for awhile. See, I've been going through this cool thing called "maturing", and the reason I titled this post "New Year, who dis" is because I really do feel like I am a different person at this point in my life. So here are some things I've learned and that have changed in me over the past year:
1. Confidence.
So I've honestly gone really back and forth between different kinds of insecurity. There is the kind of insecurity that causes you to literally shut the world out and lock yourself in. Then there is the kind of insecurity that causes you to kind of overcompensate for everything because you feel like you're not being noticed like you should. And let me just say, going back and forth between the two is e x h a u s t i n g.
Then, I went through this whole thing where I dealt with my insecurity (not that it's gone forever, but you get it) and just wanted to be like, SO humble all the time. Like, don't give me any recognition, don't even compliment my shoes, just don't. And so I never shared anything about myself, especially my music, because I didn't want to come across as arrogant or anything other than absolutely genuine.
And then, I was like... this is stupid. God is calling me to do music. I'm just being obedient. SO, it literally took years to get to where am now. And where I am now, is confident. I'm confident in my abilities, my personality, my aspirations, and my calling. As someone said to me the other day, I'm a "freakin' catch". I said... "I know, boo" (inwardly, because you still gotta be somewhat humble, fam). Haha, but seriously. I can tell you straight up that confidence is healthy, peaceful, and well, attractive. So like, if you haven't, you should try it.
2. YOU WOOOON'T BE Seventeen Forever...or will you?
First of all, if you are confused by those lyrics, -100 points. Secondly, some people never grow up. For real. I feel like this unfortunate truth really got hammered into my head this year.
I was looking forward to graduating school for a long time, simply because I was donezo with college students. I wanted to be among adults, who acted like responsible human beings, rather than children. But I have realized many times this year, that the old slogan "maturity doesn't come with age" is lowkey spot. on. Now, please don't use that as an excuse to date a 15 year old, because that's gross and wrong for a billion reasons. But. Some things I have experienced with adults that is highly frustrating this year:
-avoiding confrontation
-ignoring multiple texts, emails, phone calls about reeeally important things
-men and women flirting with 80 different people at once and pulling the friend card on every one
-gossip
-the WORST kinds of comments about Trump/Hilary and any of their supporters
-complete oblivion to the world
And like, the list goes on, friends. So I was looking at my future in the adult world as this fuzzy utopia where I could finally have sophisticated conversations about things that actually matter, and then I was gradually just like.... never mind.
BUT. The good thing is that there are so many wonderful people in the world. I'm blessed to already be surrounded by many. And I know there are a lot of people out there that are waiting to meet me and I, them. So here's to meeting new friends and building lasting relationships in the year of 2017!
3. Move On, giiiirl.
I feel like a very common trend with my age group is the whole "I just haven't gotten over ...... I'm not ready for ........ I'm still so hurt by......"
And look, I'm not trying to discredit any situations. I know some things take time. But it's more about the attitude. And it's about deciding how long are you going to let temporary things steal your happiness.
I'm not just talking about things I don't understand, by the way. I've been in some really rough spots. I'm not really one to disclose a ton of personal information, but I can tell you that I have made some (a lot of) extremely poor decisions, and they changed me in a way I will never be able to correct. I've been hurt by people that I will remember for a lifetime, and it will sting every time I think about it. But at some point, I decided that I wasn't going to let those situations rule my life. I'm a freakin' catch, remember?! And looking out at my future, I can see that I have a LOT to look forward to. There are experiences and relationships that I will just not miss because of my past. So, move on, girrrrl. Obviously, deal with the issue, but move on. Be happy.
4. LOVE
This is probably something you've seen all over social media this year. But TBH, I have seen a huge change in my life this year when it comes to just loving people. I've definitely had tendencies to judge or assume things about people in the past, and most of the time, it was subconscious. You know, when you see someone wearing Crocs or something and you just immediately want to snapchat it? That kind of thing, haha.
I'm not even going to get into this from a Biblical perspective, because that's another post for another day (it will be like 20 years long). But the thing is, I don't really have to. Look at the effects of judgement and hatred. Look at the effects of love. BOOM. DONE.
This absolutely doesn't mean that I agree with everyone about everything. I still have my belief system. I still will stand up for it. I won't promote things that conflict with it. But I WILL love people, regardless. If I had to make an actual "New Years Resolution", that would be it. Love people, regardless.
I've just met a lot of people with a lot of stories this year. And so I'm working on my heart and my mind to be open and full of love for anyone who might want to accept it. If you're reading this, I hope you will think about doing that this year, too.
That's basically it. But for funzies, in 2017, I also want to:
-travel a LOT
-meet some celebrities (bc why not)
-eat at the rainbow bagel place in NYC
-start a YouTube channel doing music stuff
-go to some auditions
-get FIT! (maybe for real, this year)
-make new friends
-swim under a waterfall
-get eyelash extensions
-cook like Bobby Flay (I got his cookbook, don't worry)
-write a million songs
And probably more things that I can't think of right now, but when I do them, I'll pretend like I came up with them on January 1st so I feel like I accomplished something.
SO YEAH. This is my second official blog post on my website! Still weird. Can't wait to find a typos for the next 5 years. Happy New Year everyone!!
